Okay, so, picture this: I’m in my early twenties, still crashed at my folks’ place. It’s not that I’m lazy, but come on, who wouldn’t want their own space, their own rules, you know? But, as you can see, cash is tight, so I’m still under their roof, and sometimes it feels like I’m still 15.
I started by trying to talk to them, like a normal person, about some stuff I wanted to do. Nothing crazy, just hanging out with friends a bit more, maybe going to a concert, the usual stuff. But, nope. My dad, he’s got this thing about control. It’s like every time I come up with something fun, he just found all the way to shut it down. It’s always, “You’re not responsible enough,” or “That’s a waste of time.” It is really hard to talk with him because he can find all the reason to stop you, even if this is an easy and normal thing that you want to do.
- First attempt: I made a list. Yeah, an actual list of reasons why going to this concert was a good idea. I showed it to him, thinking logic would win. He just glanced at it and gave me that “Are you serious?” look. Failed.
So, I decided to take a different tactic. I started doing more around the house without being asked. I cleaned my room like a crazy person, even washed the dishes without him getting mad first. I figured if I showed him I was “responsible” and “mature,” he’d get off my back.
- Second attempt: Chores on overdrive. I was basically a cleaning machine. Did it work? Not really. He just expected it after a while, like it was my new normal. Still couldn’t go to the concert. I can’t believe that.
Then I thought, okay, grades. That’s gotta be it. So, I hit the books like never before. I mean, I wasn’t failing before, but I aimed for the top. I studied until my eyes were about to fall out. I thought this time he will let me do something I want.
- Third attempt: Straight A’s. I even got a little certificate thing for being on the honor roll. Did he care? He said, “That’s great, now keep it up.” No concert. No friends. I just keep learning like a machine.
It’s a mental thing
It’s like, they want you to be an adult, but they don’t actually let you do anything adult-like. It’s like they don’t believe you can actually do it. They set these invisible boundaries, and every time I try to step outside of them, I get yanked back. No one can force you to do anything, but they’re the master of manipulation. I tried, I really did. It’s like they ask you to do something you can’t do, but when you show them you can do better, they will ask you to do more. It’s like a loop that you can’t escape. This makes me feel like I’m trapped, and it’s messing with my head. I love my dad, but sometimes I just want him to trust me, you know? Let me live a little. And I don’t know how to do it now, maybe I should just give up and wait until I can move out.
