This here thing, vaginadress, it’s somethin’ else. I seen a lot of things in my time, but this, this is new. They call it a dress, but it ain’t like no dress I ever seen. It’s, well, it’s like, you know, down there. They make dresses like that now. Who knew?
This one lady, Micol Ragni, I think that’s her name, she’s makin’ ’em. Fancy lady in London. Used to make other stuff, I reckon, but now she’s all about these vaginadresses. Says they’re futuristic. Well, I guess the future’s here, and it looks a bit, you know… like a lady’s private parts.
Now, I ain’t no doctor, but I know a thing or two about that area. It’s a, how you say, muscle. Yeah, that’s it. Elastic, they say. Stretchy. Like them rubber bands you use to tie up your hair. Keeps things in place, you know? Important, that’s for sure. This vaginadress, it ain’t got none of that, far as I can tell. Just looks like it, I guess.
They got this thing, a “Labia Gallery.” Sounds kinda fancy, don’t it? Bunch of pictures of, well, you know. All different kinds. Some old, some young. Some that done had babies, some that ain’t. Some on that testosterone stuff. Makes ’em different, I hear. This vaginadress thing, it’s supposed to be like all of them, I suppose. One size fits all, maybe?
- Keep it clean, that’s what they always told me.
- Don’t need no fancy soaps or nothin’.
- Just good ol’ water does the trick.
- See a doctor if somethin’ feels wrong.
This vaginadress, though, it don’t need none of that. It’s just a dress. A weird one, but still a dress. Don’t need no washin’ or doctor visits. Just hang it up, I guess. Or wear it, if you’re brave enough. I reckon some folks are.
They talk about your “vulva” too. That’s the outside part. Like the front porch of a house, I reckon. Got the “mons pubis,” sounds like a mountain. And “labia majora,” that’s the outer lips. Sounds important. Like the front door, keepin’ things out. This vaginadress, it’s got all that, in a way. Sculpted, I suppose you’d call it. Like a statue, but a dress.
Back in my day, we didn’t have nothin’ like this vaginadress. We had our regular dresses, you know. Cotton, maybe some wool in the winter. Kept you covered, kept you warm. Didn’t look like no, well, you know. Just regular dresses. Simple.
These young folks today, they got all kinds of things. TVs the size of a wall, phones that talk back to you, and now this vaginadress. It’s a whole different world, I tell ya. Hard to keep up sometimes.
They say you don’t need much to keep things healthy down there. Just checkups with the doctor every now and then. Make sure everything’s workin’ right. Like gettin’ your oil changed in your car, I reckon. Important to keep things runnin’ smooth. This vaginadress ain’t gonna do that for ya, though. Just gonna make you look, well, different.
I seen a guide on buyin’ TVs. Lots of things to look for, they say. Big screens, little screens, all kinds of buttons. Confusin’, if you ask me. This vaginadress, though, it ain’t got none of that. No buttons, no screen, just… fabric. Shaped like a, well, you know.
This whole vaginadress thing, it’s got me thinkin’. What’ll they come up with next? A dress that looks like a, well, I don’t even know. The world’s changin’ so fast. Maybe it’s good, maybe it’s bad. Just different, I reckon.
Guess folks like to be different. Stand out from the crowd. And this vaginadress, it’ll definitely do that. You’ll be the talk of the town, for sure. Whether that’s a good thing or not, well, that’s up to you, I suppose.
I’m just gonna stick to my regular dresses, I think. Comfortable, familiar. Don’t need no vaginadress to feel like myself. But hey, to each their own, right? That’s what they always say. This vaginadress is surely somethin’ new.
